Memorial Plan for Linda Harper
I'm so sorry about your mom. From what you shared, Linda filled a lot of rooms with music, from 30 years in the church choir to Motown at home, and her memorial can carry that. This plan breaks the next few weeks into small steps so no one person has to carry it all.
The plan in one line: Cremation, then a memorial service at Linda's Methodist church and a lunch reception for about 100 guests in Columbus, Ohio, on a Saturday, with a budget of about $8,000.
Assumptions
Change any of these that don't fit. You can also use your one free change request.
- Hospice already handled the pronouncement of death, since she died in their care two days ago.
- Linda may still be in hospice or hospital care because no funeral home has been picked yet. That makes choosing a provider the most urgent task.
- No prepaid funeral plan has turned up yet. If one does, it may change who you call and what is already paid for.
- A single memorial service with no separate visitation or viewing. The cremation happens first and the service comes later.
- The reception is at the church (fellowship hall or similar). If not, add a venue to the list.
- You are a local adult child, called "You" in the tables. Your brother is "Local sibling" and your sister is "Out-of-town sibling."
- Linda's home is still available for gathering papers and maybe for scattering ashes in the garden.
- The $8,000 covers everything: cremation provider, church fees, reception, flowers, printing and obituary.
At-a-Glance Timeline
These timings are typical, not required. A memorial after cremation can be held weeks later if that helps family travel.
| When | Focus | Key decisions |
|---|---|---|
| Now (days 2–3) | Choose a provider. Notify family. Secure the home. | Which cremation provider. Who signs paperwork. Number of death certificates. |
| Days 3–5 | Meet the church. Set the date. | Which Saturday (often 1–3 weeks out). Service time. Reception plan. |
| Week 1 | Obituary and announcements. Start the service plan. | Where to publish the obituary. Flowers or donations. Speakers. |
| Week 2 | Service details | Order of service. Readings. Music. Slideshow. Program. Livestream. |
| Final week | Confirm everything | Guest count for food. Seating and access for Aunt Ruth. Travel for your sister. |
| Saturday | Memorial and lunch | Follow the run sheet below. |
| Weeks or months later | Ashes | Scatter in the garden, keep, divide, or inter. There's no rush. |
Phase 1: First 24–72 Hours
You're already about 48 hours in. Some of these may be done. Check them off and move on.
- Confirm the pronouncement and paperwork with hospice. Ask: "Was the death pronounced, and who signs the death certificate?" Hospice usually handles this.
- Ask hospice where Linda is now and how long she can stay there. This sets how fast you need a provider.
- Look for a prearranged plan or written wishes before you call providers. Check her papers, filing cabinet, desk, safe, and church records. Ask her pastor whether she left funeral wishes or favorite hymns with the church.
- Choose and contact a cremation provider or funeral home (see Phase 2). Call 2–3 to compare. They will arrange to bring Linda into their care.
- Ask who has legal authority to approve the cremation. Providers usually need signed authorization from the next of kin. Ask whether all three children must sign. If your sister must sign from Denver, ask whether she can do it remotely.
- Notify immediate family: siblings, grandchildren (adults can tell the younger ones in their own way), and Aunt Ruth.
- Secure Linda's home. Lock up, collect the mail, and check the stove, faucets and thermostat. Water the garden if needed. Keep jewelry, cash and important papers safe.
- Arrange care for any pets or plants.
- Order multiple certified copies of the death certificate, usually through the provider. Banks, insurers, pension and Social Security offices, and property records often each want one. Many families order 6–10. Ask the provider about the cost per copy.
- Start a notes file or notebook for every call: who you spoke with, the date, and what was agreed.
Phase 2: Choosing a Provider
Since Linda wanted cremation and the service will be at church, compare cremation-focused options. These include direct cremation (cremation with no service at the funeral home) and packages that add help with the memorial. With a church memorial, direct cremation may cover what you need from the provider and leave more of the budget for the service and lunch.
Your rights under federal law: The FTC's Funeral Rule requires funeral providers to give accurate, itemized price information. They must hand you a General Price List (GPL) to keep when you ask in person about goods, services or prices. They must give accurate prices over the phone, too. The Rule also bars providers from:
- charging for embalming without permission
- requiring a casket for direct cremation (a simple "alternative container" is allowed)
- making you buy one item as a condition of getting another
(Source: FTC, "Complying with the Funeral Rule.")
- Call 2–3 providers in the Columbus area and ask for prices by phone.
- Ask for the General Price List at any in-person meeting.
- Bring a second person to the arrangement meeting (Local sibling, or an adult grandchild).
- Bring Linda's details for the death certificate: full legal name, date and place of birth, Social Security number, parents' names (including mother's maiden name), marital history, education and occupation.
- Get a written, itemized statement before you sign anything.
Questions to Ask the Funeral Home / Cremation Provider
- What is your price for direct cremation, and exactly what does it include?
- **Can I have yo